What I'm doing

Working on a new novel right now. I haven't abandoned the previous one but I am writing a new one, and I can justify this because I'm young, I'm still trying to figure out what works, I'm still trying to figure out how I write and what I write and what I want to write and what conditions are best for me to write in.

Thus essentially everything I produce during this time is going to be experimental in some way, in the sense that I'm experimenting to try to figure out what I can settle down with. I think it'd be wrong of me not to experiment with my writing during this time because if I don't try a lot of things, I won't figure out which of them work best for me, and then I'd find myself stuck writing things in a way that wasn't conducive for me writing things.

I've been aware of this for a while and this explains why I've been starting a lot of novels that came to nothing (or nothing yet) lately. I'm aware of my situation. There's a reason for this senseless waste of writing. I just haven't expressed this fact until now.

I'm not indecisive, it's not that I can't finish things, it's just that I understand my current situation of being young and not understanding how I write due to my prior assumption that I already knew how I write and my refusal to acknowledge that I didn't already know how I write.

My acknowledgement of how young and immature I am is the most mature thing I can do right now and being apparently irresponsible with my writing is the most responsible thing I can do here. Through not knowing what I'm doing, I know exactly what I'm doing.

That's all.