None of this would even be a thing if I didn't think of myself in terms of a case study.

Sometimes I think about how the way I think and the way my thought processes/emotions work are apparently so different from everyone else's that anything i learn that may be true of me is not necessarily true (actually, almost certainly not true) about humanity in general and that I'll never be able to use self-observation and self-analysis (which is one of the few things I'm actually very good at) to understand the species I live in (i.e. one of the things I want to understand and that I think is most important to me to understand - really, most important for any human to understand).

Sometimes I think about how my ability to understand myself will not help me understand the species of which I am by all appearances a part.

Sometimes I think about how one of the things I'm best at will not help me understand anything about anything but myself - i.e. the most selfish thing I could hope to understand, which helps no one but myself and maybe the few people who actually think I'm interesting enough to hear me explain in great depth. (No one is that interested in me as a case study to let me do that, to ask for that. No one.)

Sometimes I think about this fact. I got stuck with a human whose nature wouldn't tell me anything about human nature. I got stuck with such an outlier that I can't learn anything from it. The only thing it will teach me is about itself. And that's not important or vast enough for me to find this knowledge sufficient.

And when I say I got stuck with this human, what I mean is I got stuck being this human.

I don't like it.